“My name is Sarah. My husband died a few years ago, leaving me to look after our six children and my ageing mother. I was overwhelmed in every aspect of my life; financially, I was struggling as the only one bringing in any money from my maize business, and emotionally, I was grieving. Because of how I was feeling, I used my children as punching bags. I would hit them with a large stick that I kept in the corner of my room. I would hurt them even if they had done nothing wrong, not realizing that they were also mourning their father.
One day, Harriet, a neighbor, and community-based facilitator who leads a parenting group in Nagojje, Mukono, central Uganda, came to see my family and I a few months after my husband died. She urged me to start attending a weekly parenting meeting and informed me that I would be able to learn how to care for my children better and connect with other parents in the community. I used to feel terrible when I hit my children without reason, so learning how to bond and interact with them effectively sounded appealing. I also wanted to make more friends in the community because I felt that I needed people to lean on as I was always the one my family relied on. Considering all these reasons, I joined the parenting group.
During the parenting meetings we undertook sessions and activities which helped me to learn how to strengthen the bond between my children and I. I learnt that rather than beating them, I should speak to them when I believe they’ve done something wrong. When I began applying some of these teachings from the parenting sessions, my children and I began to speak more and even laugh, which made the house feel lighter.
Our parenting group eventually established a Village Savings and Loans Association (VSLA). As a result, I began saving ush10,000 ($3) from my maize business every Saturday when we met. I used to think that I needed a lot of money to be able to save, but the group taught me otherwise. When we divided our savings at the end of the year, I was able to buy exercise books for my children, food for my family, care for my sick mother, and purchase household necessities such as soap and salt. The savings even helped me expand my maize business by acquiring items to increase yield, like manure.
With a higher household income, I was able to care for my family better and relieve some of my financial stress. I found myself not hitting my children because I was not as stressed about money. Additionally, my parenting group provided me with a second family. They often come to see me, and their emotional support is important. If I am extremely busy, they take my children to theirs and look after them till I am finished. They also assist me when I am low on groceries and other household items.
Even though the dynamics within my family are healthier and things have improved financially, we continue to live in a modest house with only two rooms for eight people. I’m hoping that God would help me by giving me longer life so that I can extend and expand my house. I am confident that with the financial skills I have acquired from the parenting group and the VSLA, I will be able to save enough money to do so in the future.”