Recently, we sat down with Harriet, a dedicated Community-Based Facilitator (CBF) deeply involved in facilitating weekly parenting meetings. These meetings which are a violence-preventative strategy under Children’s Rights and Violence Prevention Fund’s (CRVPF), Prevention of Violence against Children and Young People (PVAC) program, aim to enhance parental skills and cultivate healthier spousal relations.
In our conversation, Harriet shared her remarkable journey as a CBF in Nagojje, Mukono, Uganda. She painted a vivid picture of the impact she’s witnessed, not only on the parents she serves but also on her own approach to parenting. The PVAC program in Mukono is implemented by the Najogge- Mukono Cluster comprising of Capital for Life, PISCOD-Uganda, Hope of Africa Youth Development Initiative Foundation, Nagojje Community Care and Center for Youth Empowerment.
“About two and a half years ago, the LC1 (Local Councilor) in my area approached me. She told me about a program aiming to prevent violence against children and young people in Nagojje, Luweero, where I live. She explained that one approach the program was taking to prevent violence, was by improving parental-child interactions. The LC1 then asked if I’d attend a one-week training to learn how to share this parenting component with other parents and become referred to as a Community-Based Facilitator (CBF). I gladly agreed. As a parent of four, grandmother of one and a longtime resident of Nagojje, I met the criteria of a CBF.
For the last two years, I’ve worked as a CBF, facilitating weekly meetings with parents and caregivers. During these meetings, I explain to them a variety of topics about parenting including how to strengthen the bond between them and their children. I suggest practical ways in doing so, for instance, by spending a few minutes a day chatting with their child. Initially, I encountered parents who claimed they had no time for their children. I stressed that through these conversations, they can learn whether their child is happy, experiencing something difficult, or anything else. I cautioned them that if they remain silent and their child is facing something significant, they may never discover it, which could result in dire consequences.
Furthermore, I facilitate sessions about discipline. In the beginning, I found that many parents believed that hitting or yelling at their children was the only way to discipline them. Through the program, I’ve shown parents that non-violent methods of discipline exist, such as calmly discussing a child’s misbehavior with them. In addition, I educate parents about gender roles. Some parents used to think that their sons should not be allowed to cook simply because they are boys, but I explained to them that duties should not be segregated by gender; girls are just as capable of performing as boys. If you are enrolling their son in school, then, if possible, all other children in the household should also attend.
I’ve witnessed significant changes in the parents I’ve shared this program with. An example is a man who used to strike his children including those who were babies, with a massive stick. However, he reformed after attending several parenting meetings, including those which focused on teaching parents about alternative methods of discipline. Today, he no longer engages in this behavior. Additionally, I observed a mother who abused alcohol to the point where her children were neglected, and their most fundamental requirements were not met. We secured assistance for her addiction through a church and enrolled her in the parenting program. She maintains a sober lifestyle and a positive rapport with her children at present.
This program has not only transformed the lives of the parents I work with, but it has also re-shaped my own approach to parenting. Previously, I believed that the only way to correct my children when they did something wrong was to yell at them. However, that has since changed; I now engage in conversations with them, explaining to them why what they did was wrong. Today, my children and I are friends. One even says, “Mommy, you are my best friend.” I was compelled to shift my parenting style as it was not right for me to preach what I was not practicing.
It brings me great joy to help parents in my community to foster stronger bonds with their children. Additionally, parents in my community hold me in high regard; in fact, they have even referred to me as a “counsellor,” which makes me smile. I have made many friends of different ages through this program, which I love. I am committed to expanding this program to more communities in the future. Some parents who are not based in Nagojje have heard of the program and have requested that I travel there to teach it to them.”